Bullying and IEPs: What Parents Need to Know When Their Child Is Being Targeted

Children with disabilities are bullied at significantly higher rates than their non-disabled peers. Studies consistently show that students with IEPs — particularly those with autism, learning disabilities, speech impairments, and physical disabilities — are among the most frequent targets of bullying in schools.

If your child is being bullied, you are not overreacting by taking it seriously. And if your child has an IEP, you have more tools available to you than most parents realize.

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Why Children With Disabilities Are Targeted More Often

Children with disabilities are frequently targeted because of the very characteristics that make them who they are — differences in communication, social interaction, physical appearance, behavior, or learning style. Children who stand out, who have difficulty reading social cues, who communicate differently, or who have visible disabilities are often singled out by peers who exploit those differences.

For many children with disabilities, bullying is not just a social problem — it directly interferes with their ability to access their education. A child who is afraid to go to school, anxious in the hallways, or avoiding the cafeteria is a child whose educational performance is being harmed. That connection matters legally.

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What Bullying Actually Is

Schools sometimes use a narrow definition of bullying that excludes behavior your child may be experiencing. For the purposes of your child's rights, bullying generally includes:

• Physical bullying — hitting, pushing, damaging property, unwanted physical contact
• Verbal bullying — name-calling, taunting, threats, mockery of disability-related characteristics
• Social/relational bullying — deliberate exclusion, spreading rumors, manipulation of friendships
• Cyberbullying — harassment through social media, texting, or online platforms

Bullying is typically defined as repeated, unwanted aggressive behavior involving a real or perceived power imbalance. A single incident may not meet the legal definition of bullying, but it can still be reported and should be documented.

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The School's Legal Obligations

Schools have legal obligations related to bullying that are particularly significant when the targeted student has a disability.

Under IDEA: If bullying is interfering with your child's ability to receive a free appropriate public education — affecting their attendance, academic performance, emotional wellbeing, or ability to access services — the school must address it through the IEP process. This may mean updating the IEP to add supports, changing the environment, or addressing the impact of bullying on your child's goals and services.

Under Section 504 and the ADA: If your child is being bullied because of their disability — or if the bullying is creating a hostile environment that denies them equal access to education — that can constitute disability-based harassment, which is a civil rights violation. Schools that know about disability-based harassment and fail to respond appropriately may be violating federal law.

Under state anti-bullying laws: Every state has its own anti-bullying law, and most require schools to have written policies, investigate reported incidents, and take corrective action. Many states have specific provisions protecting students with disabilities. Know your state's law.

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What to Do Right Now

1. Document everything before you contact the school. Write down every incident your child has reported — dates, what happened, who was involved, where it occurred, and how your child responded. If your child has visible injuries, photograph them. Save any electronic evidence (screenshots of messages, social media posts). This documentation is the foundation of everything that follows.

2. Report it in writing. Do not rely on a verbal report to a teacher. Submit a written report to the school principal and special education coordinator. Include the specific incidents, dates, and your child's name and disability status. Written reports create a legal obligation for the school to respond.

3. Request an IEP meeting. If the bullying is affecting your child's education — their attendance, anxiety, academic performance, or ability to access services — request an IEP meeting in writing and ask the team to address the impact of bullying on your child's IEP. This might include:

• Adding social-emotional support to the IEP
• Updating the behavior intervention plan
• Adding environmental accommodations (different lunch period, different route between classes, adult support during transitions)
• Addressing the bully's behavior through the school's disciplinary process

4. Ask what the school's anti-bullying policy requires. Request a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy and ask specifically what investigation and response steps are required under that policy. Hold them to it.

5. Follow up in writing after every conversation. After every phone call or in-person meeting with school staff, send a brief email summarizing what was discussed and what the school committed to do. This creates a record and prevents the school from claiming later that no commitment was made.

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If the School Does Not Respond Adequately

If you have reported bullying in writing and the school has not taken meaningful action, you have escalation options.

File a formal complaint with the district. Most districts have a formal complaint process separate from the school-level response. Contact the district's special education office and submit a written complaint.

File a state complaint. If the bullying is interfering with your child's IDEA rights and the school is not addressing it through the IEP, you can file a state complaint with your state's Department of Education.

File an Office for Civil Rights complaint. If the bullying is disability-based harassment and the school has failed to respond appropriately, you can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights (OCR). OCR investigates civil rights violations in schools including disability-based harassment.

Contact your state's Protection and Advocacy organization. P&A organizations provide free legal advocacy for people with disabilities and can advise you on your options if the school is failing to protect your child. Find yours at ndrn.org.

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Addressing the Impact on Your Child

Beyond holding the school accountable, your child needs support for the emotional impact of being bullied. For many children with disabilities, bullying compounds existing anxiety, erodes self-esteem, and can trigger or worsen behavioral challenges.

Talk to your child's therapist, pediatrician, or behavioral health provider about what they are experiencing. Ask the IEP team whether counseling services should be added to the IEP. Document any changes in your child's behavior, sleep, appetite, or school attendance — this documentation supports both the IEP case and any formal complaint.

Your child's safety and wellbeing matter as much as their academic progress. Treat both with equal urgency.

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No Child Should Have to Earn the Right to Feel Safe at School

The IEP Template & Guide Pack includes documentation tools and meeting scripts for requesting IEP updates, reporting bullying in writing, and building the paper trail you need to hold the school accountable.

The School Appeal Letter Templates include formally written letters for reporting bullying, requesting investigations, and escalating to district and state level when the school's response falls short.

Your child deserves to feel safe at school. The law is on your side — use it.

See all resources at Special Clarity →

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The information in this post is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Anti-bullying laws and disability rights procedures vary by state. If you need help, contact your state's Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) or Protection and Advocacy organization.